For a child to become a secure, resilient, and loving young adult, they must have a secure and healthy attachment with the parent/caregiver which will guide them through life. The attachment that parents/caregivers have with their child will determine their understanding of them – the stronger the attachment the more parents will understand their child, the weaker the attachment the less is understood.
In the book “Hold Onto Your Kids” (Nuefeld and Mate), the authors write about the importance of the parent role and the attachment to their children:
“The secret of parenting is not in what a parent does but rather who the parent is to a child. When a child seeks contact and closeness with us, we become empowered as a nurturer, a comforter, a guide, a model, a teacher or a coach. For a child well attached to us, we are his home base from which to venture into the world, his retreat to fall back to, his fountainhead of inspiration. All the parenting skills in the world cannot compensate for a lack of attachment relationship. All the love in the world cannot get through without the psychological umbilical cord created by the child’s attachment”. Nuefeld and Mate, Hold Onto Your Kids
In our digital world today, with an ever-growing dependency on technology, attachment is more important than ever. As parents, we battle to compete with phones and computers, but never under estimate the importance of your connection with your sons. Replace the technology with your time and attention and strengthen the attachment. Invest in the growth of your relationship with your son. The rewards will be endless.